What is a conversation?

What is the meaning of having a conversation? When we have conversations, what we really do is that we try to pull the other person closer to ourselves: our ideas, principles, thoughts, etc. We try to bring the other person into our territory. And it goes both ways.

Suppose you and I are having a conversation. I am trying to pull you toward me and you are pulling me toward you. Now it could be a very soothing conversation if somehow we converge to a middle ground. But as every soothing thing is, it is also very boring after a while. There are ‘ups and downs’ in the conversation that make it interesting. By ups and downs I mean, when one pulls the other person completely toward them and then releases again, by submitting completely and agreeing to go and reach the other person.

And it goes on as long as they are just playing this game of pull and push and so on. It does not need to be factual though. Two very simpleton folks can have a beautiful conversation, that is absolutely obscure to an overly intellectual guy. The point is that it was never intended for them, so they can get the fuck off.

Sometimes it becomes a beautiful debate when both parties have an open mind and good articulation abilities and the whole thing is supported by facts. Remember, facts are just ideas that are supported by a multitude of people. The more people support an idea, the more it becomes ‘fact’.

On the other hand, a conversation becomes a fight, when at least one party sees it as a fight and does not let it go. They do not agree to release and retain the ability to declare who won the fight. And the other party sees this as cheating and does not want to give in so easily and that is very uncomfortable.

So definitely it boils down to one’s desire: would you rather just win the game and stop it OR make it interesting and keep playing it? That is the meaning of having a conversation.

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